FirthParkGrammarSchool.com... Each for All, All for Each

FirthParkGrammarSchool.com

"Each for All, All for Each"

The School

The Teachers

The Sports

I was a pupil at FPGS from 1958 to 1965. During that time, some teachers came and some went: some moved from room to room and some stayed put, getting older and greyer (and, in some cases, crazier!) I can’t remember the exact classroom locations of all the teachers (or “masters”) for each year, but I think the following paragraphs are reasonably accurate for their era and will be, for many, a good dose of nostalgia.

Please allow me some poetic licence and forgive my mixture of past and present tense.

So, here we are, standing in the cold outside the Staff Entrance waiting to be let in. (6^th formers are also allowed to use this entrance, but woe betide any lesser mortal who sets a foot wrong…….)

In we go then, past the “Rolls of Honour” – gold writing on a black background (if my memory is correct) – into a large entrance hall. To the left – the Staff Toilets. Beyond these, “The Great Staircase”, with lockers tucked underneath it in a corner. A large fireplace is in front of us, to the right of which is Dr F T Wood’s classroom. Dr Wood (“Efty”, for obvious reasons) teaches English and Literature. Make sure you’re not sitting immediately in front of him when he’s reading to the class, or you’ll get sprayed every time he comes to a word with an ‘s’ in it. (Like “spray” for instance….) The thing that used to impress me when passing through this part of the building was the amount of beautiful woodwork everywhere.

Turning right, and through double doors, we find ourselves on a corridor, with stone walls on our right and windows on our left, overlooking “The Quad”. The first room we come to is “Daddy” Machin’s laboratory. Daddy was head of Physics throughout my time at the School. He had an endearing habit of referring to pieces of scientific equipment in the third person, e.g. “put him on the bench, boys”. This laboratory also served as an assembly room for Kings house for one day per week (was it Monday or Friday?)

The laboratory store room separates Daddy’s lab. from The Music Room, where Mr Parry tried to teach some of us to sing. The floor sloped upwards to the back of the room, with a central stairway separating two sets of long benches. (You could call these “choir stalls” if you had a vivid imagination, I guess). The tone-deaf, or just plain croaky, were labelled “non-singers” and were separated from the rest and told to keep quiet. (Good move!)

The next room is Alf Prince’s Chemistry Laboratory, again with a store room next to it. There are interesting smells in here – especially when “Kipp’s Apparatus” has been busy. Hydrogen sulphide does not have an endearing smell. Kipp must have had a strong constitution.

(Useful Tip No.1 – when the chemistry teacher has his Bunsen burner going, if you connect a tube to one of the other gas outlets and blow down it with sufficient vigour, you can live in interesting times!)

Onwards and upwards then, because there are now stone stairs, leading you on to the ground floor of the Library Wing. At the top of the stairs, you find yourself facing the Geography Room of good old Mr Pascoe, or “Pansy” as we used to call him. He was a nice, gentle old chap who got ribbed a lot. Shame! (We had big atlas books that were good for wasp-wafting competitions in summer).

Turning left, along the corridor are two more rooms. Doug Taylor lives in the middle room – Geography teacher and Careers Master. A big chap, who looks a bit like the actor Alun Armstrong. (Well, I think so….)

I can’t remember who was the “permanent” occupier of the next room, but “Jammy” Moorhouse taught me Geography there in the first year, and Mr Andrews taught English there at one time. Jammy was the Latin Master, but we had him for Geography. He was a bit scary: the first thing he taught us was what would happen if anyone misbehaved – they would be introduced to his “decimator”. I don’t think he was well-liked.

At the far end of the Library Wing, through double doors, was – wait for it – The Library! Further on were cloakrooms and maybe something else, but I can’t remember what.

A winding, concrete staircase now takes us up to the second floor of the Library Wing, where we find the Art Room. This is a really big room, presided over by Mr Ford, commonly known as “Jaffa” due to his initials – JF.

Along the top corridor are three rooms similar to the ones downstairs. The first is where Mr Shaddock teaches German, the second where Mr R G Smith teaches maths. (I may have got these the wrong way round). However, I remember Geography lessons with Mr Higginbottom in the middle room in my fifth year (1962). The end room is the province of good old Dr Eker, the senior French Master. He was a splendid chap, with an answer for every situation and a heavy accent. (I always thought he sounded like someone who was imitating a French accent and overdoing it!) He was known as “Joe Plug” and was well-loved and respected.

Another concrete staircase takes us back down to Mr Pascoe’s room, and we can now retrace our steps back past the labs to the main entrance again.

Going upstairs now, to the first floor of the oldest part of the building, we find ourselves outside the School Office and the Headmaster’s Study. (Be afraid!) Miss “Flossy” Howard is the School Secretary and she has an assistant called Pat Swift, who is, er...buxom! I don’t know what Pat’s official title is – perhaps “assistant secretary” or “typist” (or “school buxom person”).

The Headmaster is Henry John Sylvester Wilson. He is every bit as impressive as his name – a big, powerful looking man with a long, black gown that sort of “flies” behind him as he powers down the corridors. Nobody mucks about with HJSW. (He drives a car the like of which I’ve never seen before, a Borg-Ward Isabella Combi – a pale green estate car).

Borg-Ward Isabella Combi - similar to Mr Wilson's model

Carl F. W. Borgward, the proprietor of the Hansa, Lloyd and Goliath marques, announced the new 1.5-litre saloon in 1954. During final testing it was dubbed 'Isabella', up to then it was known as the 'new' Hansa 1500. Iin fact as late as 1957 the Hansa 1500 logo was on the grille. The engine was a three-bearing, in-line four with a capacity of 1493cc. May 1955 saw a Combi estate and 1955 TS model. Bridging the TS saloon and coupe was the TS De Luxe. The 1959 models were longer and wider. Officially the last Isabella was made in September 1961. After legal problems manufacture was transferred to West Germany and then Mexico in 1964-5.

To the left of HJSW’s study is the classroom of the Deputy Headmaster and Senior French Master – “Duke” Weatherall, a tall, bald Gentleman (with a capital “G”). I was never taught by Duke, and although I always thought he looked a bit “daunting”, for want of a better word, I’m told he was a really nice chap. He often used to lead morning prayers, which he invariably started with a mournful “Oh God……” A rather less than mournful “Oh God” would reflect from the assembled School.

His regular announcements that “a Yale-type key has been found on the playing field” were met with echoes of “a yale-type key” from the younger pupils practising their best Yogi Bear impressions. (If you haven’t seen the cartoons, you won’t understand this). Duke had a glass eye – I think this was as a result of service in the First World War. (Some folks got medals, but Duke got a glass eye).

Turning right at the top of the stairs, past the office, we go down a rather dreary corridor. Immediately to our right is a door: this is not a classroom - I never discovered what it was. To our left is The Sick Bay, behind what I remember as a flimsy sort of wood and painted glass partition. Whatever it was made of, it was grotty! If you didn’t feel sick when you went in, you soon would.

The classroom now on our right (room 13, I think) was my Form Room when I first started at the School in 1958. I was in Kings house, so the class was called 1K. Our Form Master was Alwyn “Ollie” Burton, the Biology teacher. The Biology Laboratory is the next room along. Both these rooms overlook the quad. One can look out of the window and dream of freedom!

The School had a licence to keep locusts. They were fast breeders, like nuclear reactors. If I remember correctly, Ollie left after a couple of years and the School was without a Biology teacher for some time. He was eventually replaced by a Mrs Trainor (or Traynor?)

At the very end of the corridor is the Chemistry Laboratory of Mr Kitchen, who left in 1960 or thereabouts and was later replaced by “Jim” Wheeler, a real character who ran a Radio Club. I think this is room 11. You can go through a little door in the corner, which takes you to “the back room” and to a little stairway, which goes down to ground level near the quad entrance and up to Room 2. If you were ever going to meet a ghost in the School, it would be on this stairway. Fortunately, I never did. At least, I don’t think so….

Back down the corridor then, and up to the top floor. The stairs are narrower here - try not to fall over the banister. (Extra protection was fitted after I left. Wimps!)

Exercise books were exchanged for new ones & stamped accordingly

At the top of the stairs is another library, in the top room of the tower. You get a good view from here. Along the corridor, we find the Maths room of Mr “Bod” Barnes and the Stock Room, where you come to get new exercise books when your old ones are full. The Prefects’ Room is here too, and at the end of the corridor is Room 2. We are into the roof space at this level, so the classrooms have sloping ceilings. Room 2 was my Form Room when I was in 4B in 1962. In that year, Sheffield experienced a tremendous hurricane, which brought one of the School’s chimneys crashing down through the roof of Room 2. I remember we were allowed into the room two at a time to get our books - the floor was considered to be too weak to allow any more weight than this. A falling chimney killed someone just down the road in Fir Vale and we were not allowed to walk across the quad for fear of decapitation by flying slates. It was a bad time.

Back down the stairs then – right back to where we came in, but this time we turn right at the bottom. Along this corridor, a Dining Room and the Staff Room are on our right and the kitchen is on our left. The smell of boiling cabbage is probably capable of repelling vampires, though this part of Sheffield is not renowned for them as far as I’m aware.

At the end of this corridor is the Physics Laboratory of Chas Holmes, a quietly spoken, bespectacled man with a crew cut. (I learned most of my Physics from him and made a successful career from it. Thanks, Chas!)

Down a short concrete staircase, we now find ourselves in another entrance hall. This is the main entrance for years 1 to 5. There is a large cloakroom here, but don’t leave any money in your pockets – it will disappear. (Those vampires, perhaps, as they rush from the kitchens).

Let’s take a quick look outside before we move on. Across the yard is a new wood-and-glass building consisting of two rooms – N1 and N2. (I suspect the “N” is for “New”. This would be in keeping with the subtlety of a classical education). I think N1 is on the left – this is where Mr Harrison (“Poddy” or “Cheesy” – take your pick) teaches Physics. His lessons to the 6^th form are often punctuated by accounts of his own schooldays, when he was taught by someone called Major Hey and there was a “fat little bitch” called Sheila Penaluna “on the back row”. Pod runs the Jazz Club – he likes King Oliver and Coleman Hawkins, or so I’m told.

On the right, in N2, Religious Education is taught by Mr Bullivant, a.k.a Holy Joe. Was there ever a Religious Education teacher who was not known as Holy Joe?

To your right, at the bottom of the yard behind the caretaker’s house, are the dining rooms, and just beyond the hall is an ugly, concrete building containing the two Craft Rooms, for Woodwork and Metalwork. Mr Page teaches Woodwork and is also the School’s first aid expert. Charlie Crownshaw teaches Metalwork. If you misbehave, he will throw something sharp and dangerous at you. (Charlie left in the early 60s and was replaced by a Mr Hawksworth, who was probably slightly less murderous. Is there something about metalwork teachers?)

Behind the Craft Workshops, and backing on to Horninglow Road, are the old stable blocks, which now contain the Tuck Shop and God knows what else. There is a drinking water fountain on the wall round there somewhere.

(Useful Tip No.2 – if you set up an electric shock machine, connect one terminal to ground and touch the other on a first-year’s ear while he is drinking from the fountain, you can learn new words).

Let’s get back inside out of the cold. There is a little staircase here, which leads up to the Hall Balcony, where the Staff and 6^th formers go for Morning Assembly. Through yet another set of double doors is the Hall Corridor. School photographs adorn this corridor. These are taken with a panoramic camera, which scans the assembled multitude in the hope that they will keep still.

(Useful Tip No. 3 – if you turn head to follow the camera, you end up with a wide head. On the photograph, that is…..)

On the left is The Hall, which doubles as The Gym. There are wall bars at the far side and ropes hanging by the wall - these can be pulled out into the middle by the use of pulleys. Pupils are then persuaded to test Darwin’s theories by attempting to climb them. A great big post can be pulled out into the middle of the hall and horizontal wooden bars can be pulled down to span the gaps between the post and the walls for the purpose of torturing pupils. Other forms of torture utilise wooden and leather horses, which are kept under the balcony. (Thus, all pupils leave the School with masochistic tendencies which future employers have to learn to deal with).

Walking past the Hall, we arrive at another entrance, with cloakrooms. Turn right and go up the steps – on the left are the Changing Rooms and Communal Showers. (I wonder if this would be allowed today). Jock McKay lives here, in a little room round the corner. (He is joined later by Mr Pallister). Jock also teaches Maths – what a versatile fellow!

Yet another set of double doors lead us on to the Gym Wing. There are four classrooms on each side of this corridor, which is lined with lockers from end to end. (I think all the rooms are numbered in the twenties).

I’m not sure about the first room on our left. Mrs Brookes (“Nellie”) used to teach English somewhere around here (she was succeeded by Mr Hydes around 1960) and Messrs. Marsh (“Boggy”) and Sutcliffe certainly taught Maths in this room at some time or other. I am sure about who we will find in the next room though – Stan Cook, the English teacher, a.k.a. Silas. He has a perfectly round face and perfectly round NHS spectacles. The story goes that he has four children, who all have perfectly round faces and perfectly round NHS spectacles, and they can sometimes be seen walking in line, in order of diminishing height. For all I know, they might all sing “Heigh-Ho” too. I suspect that the story is apocryphal, but it conjures up a nice picture and one can hope that it’s true!

Next along, nous trouvons Monsieur “Nebby” Parker, qui teaches French. To help our pronunciation, we all have to say “eeeeeee baaaah gum”. I guess this is what French people expect of us.

Last room on the left – Spanish. Mr Bown is known as “Icky” for some strange reason. (Perhaps someone will tell me one day). I gather he keeps order with the threat of two PT slippers, called Black Knight and White Knight. (There is probably some good reason for this cryptic nomenclature). Still, he seems like a thoroughly nice chap to me.

We are now at the top of the Gym Wing, where there are more double doors, another cloakroom and an entrance. However, we must now double back and go back down the other side of the corridor. (We keep to the left – this is Britain, you see…) The top room belongs to Alan “Boris” Haywood. He is a star turn, having written the Russian text books that we all use. I think he is more than just “a Russian teacher”. He also plays the double bass.

Next room – “Spider” McKay, who teaches Maths. I’m not sure why he is called Spider, but I once saw him crack a kid across the face for using the word.

Another French teacher is in the next room – Mr D A Smith (DAS). He is not too tall, but is built like a brick khazi and is a good footballer. He is also a nice guy with an easy smile and he helps run the Scripture Union with Eric Sutcliffe.

Last, but certainly not least, is the legendary Spike Johnson - Senior History Master and Scoutmaster Extraordinaire. Spike taught at FPGS for at least a hundred years and is such a well known character that nothing more needs to be said. His attempts to teach me History failed miserably though. I had a school report that stated “Number of pupils in class – 32. History position in class – 33”. Yes, he could work wonders, could Spike!

Before we wrap it up, there are places that I haven’t mentioned and that I certainly have no intention of re-visiting. The TOILETS! My God, these were dire! There were two sets of these - outside - at the top and bottom of the Gym Wing. No lights, no heating, no roof, no locks and no paper! 90% of FPGS pupils died from cholera, dysentery or gastro-enteritis before reaching the end of the 5th year. This was particularly sad, because when you reached the 6th form you could use the staff toilets, which were civilised.

So there we are then – Firth Park Grammar School as I remember it. I hope this stirred a few memories and I hope I didn’t make too many errors (for which I invite corrections).